Saturday, 29 September 2012

Today in Inversneckie - Troubles afoot!

Well today I seem to have what I believe the Germans call a ‘worm’ in my ear, or they call it something like that.   It is the repetition of a tune.    My worm is saying or singing:

“Oh I love to climb a mountain,    And to reach the highest peak.   But it doesn’t thrill me half as much as dancing cheek to cheek.   Heaven!   I’m in heaven,    And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak.   And I seem to find the happiness I seek.   When we’re out together dancing cheek to cheek."   

Shades of Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers.   God knows who I think I’m dancing with but I keep on singing along to it.   What a sad ass I am.

Why I should be so happy I do not know because I have had a few bad experiences this week.   Worst was in the hateful Inverness main post office.   There I arrived at 3.25pm on Friday with a small parcel to post.   A queue of about 20 people snaked in a double line around the room.   There were seven (of the nine)  stations with numbered lights above them and voices which called you forth when they were free.   So I waited although I am not good at standing for long periods.   It won’t be long I thought.   After a few minutes five clerks or clerkesses had left their positions never to return.   So two people were left to service the queue.   One of the windows was staffed by a female who was attending to travel money.   So that left  one woman for the rest of us.   The upshot was that 30 minutes later I along with about two dozen others,  from young mothers with toddlers to age 86 were still queuing like sedated Martians awaiting the favour of the authorities.  

After at least sixty years of using Scottish post-offices in many different towns, this is the worst service I have ever had.   Are we becoming a third-world country?   I will write to the manager, as I told the woman who eventually appeared, still chewing her afternoon biscuits while she deigned to serve me. 

I read an article in the Mensa Magazine, actually it was a letter to the paper replying to a piece about how we desire to have children to reproduce our genes. The old “Selfish Gene” story.   This person’s idea was that this was untrue because the off-spring of a male and a female in turn passes on only half the genes of each parent and that in new combinations.   So this person maintained that this process allows for the evolving improvement of  humanity to changing conditions on earth.  EVOLUTION, not the “will” of the genes is the driving force, he said.  Deep stuff!   Also the thought was expressed that those who decided not to have children were taking an intellectual decision, and were right and intelligent to do so.   Well, now you know!

My thoughts turned to the old U-tube “Same procedure as last year, Miss Sophie” to be found on Google under “Dinner for one – youTube”.   It is VERY funny if you are in the mood for it.   Especially if you are having a cocktail or two.  (It’s shown on television in Germany and Austria as a ritual every New Year).  Me, I am off to have my roast carrot soup and smoked haddock and mashed potatoes.   Must keep the old vitamins and calories going!  

Good luck to all the runners in the 10k run around Inverness tomorrow (Sunday) morning.     If you see two oldies supporting each other in Dores Road, who have come out to wave to you, then you know that is the well-fortified M&G worthies from Lochardil.   Cheers!   And as they say in Glasgow  -  Go on Yourselves – or more likely: Gaun yersells!!

Friday, 21 September 2012


Is the age of fifty, the new thirty?  Today for lunch we had two fifty-somethings   who had just finished a ten-kilometre-run followed by a seven-mile bike-run.   This was a practice-run for the real event in a couple of weeks.   They were both having a day away from their regular jobs, and were totally bright and lively after their exertions.   They ate a hearty lunch with us, and were off to plant some hundreds of bulbs and do general gardening, and so on and so on!   By the way, you may know them as Laura and Gordon C.  Perhaps, if fifty is the new thirty, then eighty is the new sixty.   I think I will buy roller-skates for Gerald and myself.

It seems that soon there will be more and more people aged 85 or over in Great Britain.   I suppose it’s the same all over.    We’ll all be up close and personal with our neighbours soon if this goes on!   You need to have a good sense of humour in the modern world, ready for any wild news that comes over the media!   It really is very strange.   

The other day, the leader of the Lib/Dems, Nick Clegg apologised for his broken promises regarding university tuition fees, and how they would never be increased if his party had anything to do with it.   Of course, when in power with the Tories, this promise was ignored as everyone knows.    Now fees are higher than ever - £9,000 per year in many cases.   Well, Nick has apologised.   Some pranksters on the internet have taken the speech, and they have dubbed it with a funny singing voice repeating his “sorry” remarks over and over.   They say that the tune is going up the charts.  Maybe it will be No. 1 by Christmas.    God!   What a crazy country!

Postcard this morning, a bit late, from Calum and Fiona, from holiday in Croatia.   It looks a lovely place.   Maybe they will bump into Jerry and Mari while they are there.   Anyway this part of the world is becoming very popular for holidays.

Also looked up Cairns, Australia this morning because that is where Laura Martin and Lauren have driven to from Darwin.   Isn’t the internet wonderful?    Within two minutes I was reading descriptions of the barrier reef, how it is formed and many more facts to be assimilated if one wished.   Also there were even jobs advertised, at least a few when I keyed in ‘Jobs in Cairns, Australia’.   It is all unbelievable!

Joke 1:    This man says to his friend.    “Well, my wife and I, we have a very successful marriage.   We go to a restaurant two nights a week, soft lights, some music, maybe a little dancing.   It’s wonderful!   She goes Tuesdays.    I go Fridays.

Joke 2:   The pope is talking to his cardinals high above St. Peters Square in Rome.   One of the cardinals looks out of the window and sees Jesus coming up the stairs.   He tells the others and they rush to the pope in a panic.   “What shall we do your holiness?”   Says the pope.   “Everybody look busy!”

Thursday, 13 September 2012


I have forgotten how to make Eton Mess.   As I intend to use up the strawberries I bought at the new Asda for supper this evening.  I will now look the recipe up and refresh my memory (I have mislaid the original print).   OK!   According to Delia Smith, you blend half the strawberries.   You whip the cream.   You chop the other half of the strawberries.   You mix a packet of meringues with the cream and the two lots of strawberries, and Bob’s your uncle!

I have a cheek talking about strawberries as if the world was all basically a semi-paradise and I should indulge myself.   Well, that’s what I feel like, so what!   I want to forget about:

a)     The Liverpool Hillsborough football disaster.   Sad!   Sad!
b)    The poor souls being blown up in Libya.
c)      Some politicians. One’s name begins with G, one with O, and one with C.   Also a few more alphabetic disasters, who function in Westminister.

      But I don’t want to forget about, ‘cos I admire, Ed.M.and Ed.B and Douglas Alexander.   Terrific in New York this week at the tennis championships!  I am so proud of ANDY MURRAY!!!   What must his mother feel like?   What a son!”  He makes me feel like taking up tennis myself.

I send love to clever, pretty, laughing Laura Martin.   I saw the birthday pictures of you in Aussie, with the note saying “Kiss me!”   stuck to your forehead.   LAURA and her friend , LAUREN are working and hanging out somewhere around Darwin.   I hear you two have bought a car and are going to drive to Sydney.   You are so-o-o  adventurous!   Miss you lots!   Also, must not forget the two in Sydney already. Hurry home Emma and Kevin!   Scotland needs you!

By the way, Laura, Gerald says to tell you the Salt Crocodiles around Darwin won’t attack you as long as you’re right at the bottom of the river-bed – preferably in a diving suit.   So just remember that!   Get down to the bottom fast – or preferably don’t swim at all in the vicinity of crocks – so said the intrepid divers studying the crocks in their programme on TV.

Good Holiday and Safe Journey is wished by Gerald and myself to Jerry and Mari, our family and guests this summer.   They painted the town red in London and then flew off to Berlin and then on to Croatia.  Intrepid travellers, great organisers, great fun and good company.   Hope you arrive safely back in Whidbey Island at the right time and with your i-pads and puzzle games safe and sound.

Dyed my hair this morning.   It’s beautiful, brown and honey.   Don’t have to pay the hairdresser this month!   Off to meet Mimi Martin and Science Tech and child psychologist Laura Christie at 5pm. at Girvans, Inverness.  Further News Later!